I'm a big girl and we've lost lots and lots of pets over the years but this one is the hardest since I was young and didn't yet know as much about loss of loved ones and special pets. I'm usually realistic about the short lives of pet but we usually have the luxury of losing them older so we can say they had a very well loved and well lived life but this isn't the case.
We both feel we let Ming down and I definitely feel our "team" of vets let us down. There is always guilt involved in any loss. We feel we were preoccupied with holidays, my father's illness, mother's back surgery and the death of a two week old puppy just 4 days prior. We should have taken heed of some off things we saw in hindsight. Guilt sucks. We even have 3 barn cats but they aren't the same. I feel bad I don't love them as much. I want to give them a chance in the house but they're terrible house cats climbing on everything and knocking stuff over......more guilt.
Animals live in the moment. I'm glad Ming isn't in pain any longer. I can't wait to see him again one day and tell him how sorry I am that I wasn't more assertive about making him homemade food instead of deadly kibble crap. He was the only animal we had that refused to eat homemade. I can't wait till I can think of him again and not cry.
We will pick up his cremains on Saturday and bring home his little box to join the boxes of those who went before him. No animal will ever eat kibble again. I learned a hard lesson at the expense of my best friend and for that I am very, very sorry. Please don't make that mistake with your cats and dogs.
This is the last picture I took of Ming sitting behind me while at my computer, making sure he had the prime spot closest to mommy.
I miss you so much Ming-Ming, say hi to Stitchy for me.
God, please let him sit on your lap sometimes.